.

so i'm pissed off because eating tuna will probably fuck me and my future unborn children up, or at least make us suffer from memory loss and defficient motor skills.

there is absolutely NO reason why it should be dangerous to eat tuna. but because of our fucked up world, there is. there are many actually.

and i'm supposed to go to this party tonight, but i would be going alone and i don't know anyone there... so... it doesn't sound so appealing to me now.

in case i forgot how awesome i can be (which i often do):

A on my peoples of latin america test
B+ on my liberal studies midterm

and i think i kicked ass on my archaeology test.

i love myself.

and i bought a ticket for rilo kiley!!!

and i bought sasquatch tickets!!!

and i'm going to bellevue today to look for shoes for the wedding!!!

and alex and i might see the new woody allen movie tonight "melinda and melinda"

and i'm spent. literally. no more money.

next task: look for JOB.

an update on a few weird things in my life:

run lola run was great! i loved it and i can't stop saying schieze! (not really that weird that i liked it but me wanting to curse in german is pretty fucking weird)

i downloaded the new vanessa carlton album last night. it's actually pretty good. different from that annoying "1000 miles" crap. and there are some cool subtle guests, such as pharrel and stevie nicks. and the album was produced by stephen jenkins of third eye blind (aka crap) fame. although, i loved third eye blind to death in 7th grade.

i went into wal mart today. and actually bought stuff. it was a horrifying experience and i felt horrible, but i got a really cool messenger bag and some THONG underwear. and i'm stupid because i thought i had never been to a wal mart before, but once when i was in las vegas my brother, sister and i stopped in one to get sun screen for me, the whitie burn victim.

okay, now i have to study for archaeology so i can get better than B- this time.

it's always funny when someone you kind of knew once turns out to be this totally amazing person that you don't know at all anymore.

we now have screens!!!! YES OPEN WINDOWS MINUS LE BUGS!

okay, so i know that quoting jimmy eat world lyrics as my subject heading ups the cheese factor of me posting and makes it look like i might reminisce back to my high school days and my emo-ness, but i promise you there is no cheese or emo. it's just so true. words of wisdom, and i think everyone goes through that feeling. feeling stuck, feeling lost, feeling insecure, feeling like a lifeless lump of coal.

my day started off well because i kicked so much ass on my test. i knew the answer to every question, so that only means one thing, right? AN A!

but then my day ended sucky because i found out that for my archaeology test on friday, i have to read an extra chapter that i thought wasn't going to be included. so now instead of reading 43 pages, i have to read 75. not a happy melissa. plus, there is basicalyl no study guide or review so i just have to know everything i want an A. which is what i want, but i probably won't get it.

i have some really cool new friends. and i just want the two of you ladies to know that i wouldn't have it any other way! you can try to run away, but resistance is futile. give into the melissa. ;)

i've just realized that i basically hardly ever have any free time. this is kind of a first in my life. i've always been the lazy one who was not social nor did activities. now i have both and school. crazy.

today must be dead for people. no friends have posted on livejournal.

i went to the undergraduate advisor for anthropology to declare my major. what a cuckoo! blind as a bat but still one of the most valued and knowledgeable professor's in the department. i don't understand how someone can still keep their job when they are blind. i guess because she's got tenure.

anyway, studying for the rest of the day. i have another peeps of latin america test tomorrow and then an archaeology test on friday! yay for me!

but i'm reeeaaallly excited because next wednesday after school i am driving home and my parents and i will be on a plane to las vegas thursday afternoon to go to my cousin nicole's wedding! i have two words for you: GOLD SHOES.

yesssssss.

holy shit! i had no idea sufjan stevens was so hot! for some reason i thought he was older, like 40s.

i am so shallow.

i need to figure out how to not feel guilty about everything. even when it's something i really don't need to feel guilty about.

it just makes me look guilty if i feel guilty.

we rented maria full of grace and run lola run tonight. believe it or not, but i've never seen run lola run. we'll see what everyone's raving about.

i just washed my car. man, that was hard work and it's still not as clean as i want it to be (although it looks a lot better than it did). that's what you get when you don't wash your car once a month (like a good car owner should). the dirt just doesn't come off when you let it be dirty for so long. so in a few days i think i'll take it to that car wash place on lincoln street and have them work their magic. hopefully, they have some magic.

now i have loads of school work to do. it sucks, but i guess this is the life of a college student. but first! i will whip up some chocolate chip pancakes for myself!

i'm all alone. mackenzie is at work and carlie is at the new outlet mall in marysville with her mum. tomorrow, for mother's day, all of our parents are coming up and all nine of us are going to lunch at this italian restaurant in fairhaven called stanello's. cool, man.

i made a flower pot for my mom (painted it at creativitea) and am going to put a pretty flower in it today with some potting soil. shit yeah.

arrggg! i could just pull my hair out.

but i won't because i want it to be long. like when i was younger. like the good ole days... yeah, man, the good ole days.

(i've been studying for a midterm all day and let me just tell you, it's times like these when i want to drop out of school and move away. studying for a class that has nothing to do with my major and it doesn't matter what grade i get in it is really bad for motivation. like, there is none)

hey, guess what? i just drank a cup of drip coffee, and it wasn't that bad. in fact, i feel more perky now. what have i been missing all this time? drugs are cool.

i did that thing again where i'm so tired once i finally decide to go to bed that i forget to turn off my japanese lantern light that sits on my window sill, set my alarm, and set the sleep timer on my television.

so i wake up magically at nine (which is when i wanted to wake up), my light is on, and the television is resting at the pretty blue dvd screen.

at least i don't feel like shit today. at least not yet. thanks to tracy and alex for making me feel better.

i'm going to work as hard as i possibly can today. you have my word.

[00:13] ragingyul: how's that MMJ [my morning jacket] going for you?
[00:14] ragingyul: now i'm listening to them....
[00:14] mels so boss: i love mmj
[00:15] mels so boss: i feel like i'm in the middle of nowhere and it's a mix of the classic rock from the good ole days and a mix of the country i love to hate/hate to love and everything is moving slowly by cause i'm on a bus traveling through wheat country.
[00:16] mels so boss: so it's going well.
[00:16] ragingyul: wow
[00:16] ragingyul: wheat country
[00:17] mels so boss: yes.
[00:17] mels so boss: wheat country
[00:17] ragingyul: wheat
[00:17] ragingyul: fucking
[00:17] ragingyul: country
[00:17] mels so boss: okay this is the awesomest conversation we've ever had.

i've got a masterplan babe,
i been workin on it from the start.
pluggin in all of the numbers, watchin it on all of the charts.
just cause it starts off slow babe,
doesn't mean it don't have a heart.
you'll be walking 'round showin off someday
and it'll take you right back to the start.
it's everything that you want babe.
it's everything that you need.
soft and warm all the time, make you want it over and over.
strong on the horizon,
but ends up being really so sweet, oh so sweet.
sometimes I wanna lay down babe.
sometimes I wanna stand up and fight.
sometimes it runs its course in a day.
sometimes it goes for night after night.
know that it will start off strong babe,
and it will end up weak in the end.
just like the heart you break of a love babe,
just like the hand you take of a friend.
it's everything that you want babe.
it's everything that you need.
soft and warm all the time, make you want it over and over.
strong on the horizon,
but ends up bein really so sweet, oh so sweet

i got the bombs to make you blow.
i got the beats to make you baaannnggg.

sri lankan hip hop never sounded so good.

spent some time feelin' inferior standing in front of my mirror
combed my hair in a thousand ways but i came out looking just the same

daddy said, "son, you better see the world. i wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave
but remember one thing don't lose your head to a woman that'll spend your bread"
so i got out

paris was a place you could hide away, if you felt you didn't fit in
french police wouldn't give me no peace; they claimed I was a nasty person
down along the left bank minding my own; was knocked down by a human stampede
got arrested for inciting a peacful riot when all i wanted was a cup of tea
i was accused
i moved on

down in rome i wasn't getting enough of the things that keep a young man alive
my body stunk but I kept my funk at a time when I was right out of luck
getting desperate indeed i was, looking like a tourist attraction
oh my dear i better get out of here, 'for the vatican don't give no sanction
i wasn't ready for that, no no

i moved right out east yeah!
on the peking ferry i was feeling merry sailing on my way back here
i fell in love with a slit eyed lady by the light of an eastern moon
shangai lil never used the pill; she claimed that it just ain't natural
she took me up on deck and bit my neck
oh people i was glad i found her
oh yeah i was glad i found her

i firmly believed that i didn't need anyone but me
i sincerely thought i was so complete
look how wrong you can be

the women i've known i wouldn't let tie my shoe; they wouldn't give you the time of day
but the slit eyed lady knocked me off my feet; god i was glad i found her
and if they had the words i could tell to you
to help you on the way down the road
i couldn't quote you no dickens, shelley or keats, 'cause it's all been said before
make the best out of the bad
just laugh it off
you didn't have to come here anyway

so remember, every picture tells a story, don't it?

"Our hearts are not pure; our hearts are filled with need and greed as much as with love and grace, and we wrestle with our hearts all the time. The wrestling is who we are. How we wrestle is who we are. What we want to be is never what we are. Not yet. Maybe that's why we have these relentless engines in our chests, driving us forward toward what we might be."

-Brian Doyle, essayist

i am finally home!!!

now it's time to sleep on something that's not a carpet covered concrete floor!!!

friends only
do what you will. :)